I’ve been writing these travel blogs now for a few weeks, but have been storing them up, due to indecision over what to do with. Out of necessity, I have to pull the trigger, so I’m going through with having not one, but TWO blogs. My main blog – http://www.shutuphamish.com – will remain and will be the hub for both my culture writing and travel writing (I will reblog from here to there). The reasons for this are that I somewhere deep down inside feel that I need a specific place for my travel writing, to have a more general travel blog free from the immediete branding of authorship. So here we are, Indecisive Travels is born, and it shall be for the next few months as well. I’ve got some good stuff building up on life in London, because man it’s full of some ups and downs. More on that soon. For now, here’s part II of what was going on in my mind before I left.
Leaving home ain’t easy, Queen knew it all too well (Brian May to be precise).
Great song, and the message is true. By now some of you all ready know I’m departing my usual New Zealand soils and heading over seas in a trip much shorter than that taken by our colonialist ancestors. Six months in a leaky boat it is not, instead it will be our much taken for granted, 20 hours in an air-conditioned airplane.
While I’m very excited about my upcoming adventures, just this week I have been experiencing pangs of indecision and possible regret. This is probably to be expected with any large personal undertaking. When I pulled the trigger to head overseas on this working adventure, I most definitely my heart was only about 80% into the idea. But it had been sitting in my head for so long; festering, stewing – that eventually something had to be done. Once the trigger was pulled there was no turning back .Through the inevitable regrets and doubts I must trek, to blunder forward as confidently as I possibly can; meanwhile being shit scared about turning my back on a good job, the safety net of family and of familiarity.
As I move forward, not yet having left, I have to say that already positive things seem to be happening. I’ve gained a lot more momentum, something I’d been searching for for some time. Momentum is crucial to getting creative projects done and I guess the relief of not having to spend nights worrying about what I’ll do has freed me to up to be thinking more creatively. Working on this blog is one such example.
But then I think of how I no longer have an income. Of how I have to go back to working tough jobs for long hours, or maybe not working at all. I have no idea where I’m going to live, and I have no idea of the city I’m about to enter.
This all might be quite melodramatic overseas experiences to the UK have been done time and time again by New Zealanders. I guess that doesn’t make it any easier for this Kiwi however.
Here’s the final self portrait photograph (or selfie) taken by myself, before I departed Southern Hemisphere land (taking in Kuala Lumpur International Airport, exhausted and un-showered. More on Malaysia to come)